we're chasing vodka with high fives
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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