They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
