I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
