oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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