Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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