why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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