I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
