vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
