What did we do last night that was yellow?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize