nut hugger
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize