Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
