Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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