another moral hangover. fuck.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
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I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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