If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
