Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
