his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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