I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
