From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My dick has a subreddit
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
