Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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