If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
