the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
