I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
