Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
