I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
