omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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