I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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