I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
