I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
