He is an equal opportunity slut.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
