We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
