he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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