I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Even my vagina gasped.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
