Cold hands, warm shart.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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