I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
