But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
