Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
