Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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