Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
