dude i'm inner monologue high
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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