it was like his penis was on wheels.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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