You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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