Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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