the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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