college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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