do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
