My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's never too late to be topless.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
