I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
