Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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