This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dear god my vagina.
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