Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
