just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
