...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
