I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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