oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just come out here and I will go home with you...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
