Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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