apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
His nipple licking is glorious
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