two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
