We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
