No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
