you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
