He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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