I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
only you would photoshop your dick
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
