Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just want nice things and good sex
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
