Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
