Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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