dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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